sighs

its worse than being sad.
sadder than tears
to be torn apart
from within.

never to let anyone know
especially you.

trying to be happy
when you're "around"
wishing you to be so
no matter what and when.

hoping urs would never be a sad ending
but wishing i'm the one there for the happy ending

the irony.

sometimes i wish we have never met.
or things to turn out as it is.

sighs

Deliberation and Regret.

tired

i'm just tired.
there's too many to do.
but too lil which are to my heart's desire.

hahas this weekend has been fun! but well its tiring too...
shall blog abt it next time.

d

hmm...just got thsi email from my friend...
Hi,
I just came across this very touching local love story!
Joanna is a 17 years old student in National Junior College. Like any other Singaporeans, she lives in a HDB flat and eats at coffeeshop. But she believes that she has a curse: She believes that whatever negative things that she said will come true.
Jacky, a classmate of Joanna, believes that Joanna is not suffering from any ~{!0~}curse~{!1~}. He believes that Joanna is just suffering from some mental illness.
When their paths crossed, a touching love story began.
Read their bittersweet love story at http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyou.htm !
Over ten thousand readers in Singapore had read their story: now it~{!/~}s your turn!
You can watch the video trailer of the story at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIDRtEOLWiU

life

life's passes quickly at times and slowly another...

it seems eons since i last met my grandma or even see her. cos she was like avoiding us and i was also too busy to bother.
but alas, she has passed through the curtains of life and travelled to the world beyond....
at least i know she had an ejoyable life judging from the clothes she had bought and even some kind of beauty products. =]

i'll never forget her love, the nights she spent awake just to swat mosquitoes lest i was bitten by them when i was young and when i stayed over at her house. how she pampered me with food whenever i visited her...and there are jsut too many to be listed..

still, with life, comes death, and the cycle goes on and on..at the very end, it does not matter which is which but the memories u have, the deeds u have done. yes, there would be pain at separation. but that shows how precious ur relationship was and how blissful a life u have...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
life's a road that we'll keep going
love's a river that will keep flowing...

duh.

alrights with nothing to do since there's no sample eom....

ran 5km (23.00).sians it was supposed to be 4.8 la! the coach knew mao and i running so have to run extra...and training tmr is gonan be disrupted by some freaking meeting...and we dont even know what it is about! oh, back to it...luckily wei xun joined in to set pace for me for the last round or my timing would be lousy beyond comprehension....

shucks, got quite alot to do for nyaa. dang!

why am i so weak? i need to be better...
physically, mentally,emotionally. i.e sports, studies,....

oh well...dont feel well recently, ever since i joined jc, in fact....is something wrong somewhere?

summary

realised i have not been bl0ogginggg as often as before...hahas well din have the mood and content i guess. =]

start about today. went to bballed. hahas. was quite fun. get to play with the csc player and learnt quite a few moves and team manipulations. it was fun! too bad was tired and it was around 7+ already. been there since 4+ =] came home with a scratch below the eye and also the arms.

now for saturday, we had the reserve league. well, we managed to win the other team cos our total number of sets won is greater than theirs. we seriously need to train much much harder. i mean that team is only from sji i think. we must rewrite history. this feel so like my last sjab competition when we finally won our arch rival sch. lol! but this is much more different, we need to be physically strong, mentally strong and quick reflex and strong stamina.

for friday! we had our movie fest. hahas it was quite okay and our new pdg tutor treated us to dinner. too bad for the rest who went home after the movie or din go for it.

that's about it for Daily Routines.

now for some Thoughts.
WHAT IF....... white is not the epitome of good but bad and black is the epitome of good and not bad.
for black represents order and clamness, i.e. its not destructive but bring about a certain kind of peace.
white would be chaotic and blinding. so blinding that it had blinded our eyes to see the real good in this world. so chaos, that peace will never be achieved in this world.
what if the world which we are living now is so twisted that the badness had reigned and infiltrate to within our souls that it has become good and what was good once is now precieved as bad?

Ramblings.

i just want to run and run and run and never stop.
till my body's glistening wet,
muscles strained to its fullest limit.
lungs burning for the oxygen that's never there.
heart pounding so loud that i hear none but its drumming.

then would i stop to lie upon the ground.
gazing up at the expanse of darkness up there.
twinkling with silver lights.
winking happily away.

my eyes would then close.
and all that's precious to me
all that's hurting me
would be closed to me.
and all around me cease to exist.

as the sun rise over the hills in a few moment time.
the awakened sparrows
would find a body lying stretched out upon the expanse of grass.
the body cold and silent...

results

basically, i did horribly though i started one week before the exams. only a few explanations

1) just pure dumb, too stupid to study already.
2)no stamnia to study non-stop fro one whole week, cos spent some time playing sudoku in the
end
3)result of not listening to the lectures not even one bit. thus only have 7 days to read
up nearly 3 months worth of notes for physics, chem maths and econs.
4) not enough practise. but i dont much testpapers in the first place and the tys sux.

i really need one week of no studies and no ccas and no playing and no sleeping like a pig to PACK my notes, tutorials and to summarise them.
but that day will never come cos sleep demamnded is like a x^3 cummulative sort of curve. and the supply of it is perfectly elastic!

okay i'm just being Rad# again.

oh before i forget, some ppl just like to play a joke with me. this was the sequence in which i got my results: e,d,c,b, ?
theoretically ? should be a rgt? but what did i get ?! a freaking D. its like the D-day of WWII but i'm the axis power. darn.

hahas. okay that's enough crapping for an entry, luckily digital crap dont smell.
dont you ppl agree?

scammed!!!

AHHHH!!!! we were scammed by coach again!!!
he told us that the girls did 20 vertical and did 3 diff sets of exercises every 3 rounds, namely 20 push-ups, 20 sit-ups and 20 purpees. we din believe and he countered: you all can go ask grace (grace was playing squash with NON SQUASH MEMBERS AND SCREAMING LIKE HELL IN THE OTHER COURT). and so we just believed...after the run, mao kun finished first with a timing if 36.24 i think followed by me at 36.42. so imagine our surprise to find out that the girls' fastest timing is 38+minutes!!! so there we were thinking woah...when did the girls become so pro or we have deproved so much...

IN THE END, the girls only did 1 set of exercises every 3 rounds...ARGH!!!! hahas but well...its good physical training...esp training the thigh and breathing...HOwever, we fail the timing on his board which was 35 minutes but i presume that's for the original version of the vertical..haha


and some qutoes from coach...
"you can only achieve beyond what u are when u vomit at the end of it"
"u know why i can recieve the shots? cos i'm slow"
oh well forgot others already..thsoe who rememebr kindly tag at the tagboard there>>>
=]

anyway, we seriously need to train alot more harder...this is not enough to allow us to achieve our vision...we need to be more focussed, more determined. and that reminds me...we have not told the team abt the vision we created mao kun...

++++++++++++++++++++++++
i believe
i believe in love....
council dance song!!
oh how i miss anderson SEC. =(

but all good things must come to an end... hahas
++++++++++++++++++++++
u did not know what u have done...never... =]