shit

great i'm down with a fever.
striking from nowhere
in the afternoon

shit

great i'm down with a fever.
striking from nowhere
in the afternoon

2 weeks

2 weeks/ 14 days left.
the pressure's building
but the work done is on me and not me on the system.
so work done by me is like negative? oh s***S!

alrights jia you ba conquer it all
mind over matter.
willpower! haha

contrasting pairs

good news! i got back my phone! whahaaa
and the person attending to me is the same. the one who said i look like 20+...
RAH

but the bad thing is
i dunno how many time's i repeated my phone crashed! already. my fingers and brain is like totally zombified by those words already la.maybe i'm putting myself into a light trance using those words again and again.

i shall back up my contacts next time if that can be done. and i need to go all the way to paragon to change my sim to the 1000 one.... darnn

at least i woke up and went to run in the morning. totally proving my mum's prediction wrong! haha

dear dear phone

you were pretty and bright
when i first set my eyes on you...
so pretty
full of energy and promises.
with a prominent voice you drown out the rest
a beacon of light you are when i'm lost in the dark
waking me when you've been asked to
you knew my thoughts and things that happened
as we shared news together
be it day or night...
you've been through happiness, anxiety, sad ness and anger
but you went on with me.
and recently you had a change in make up
and there was the 'new' you.
but this have to happen
you have to back out at this moment
when A's are coming.
what am i to do without you?
my dear W550.... =(

SHOULD BE

you know that you should be worried when you still cant write coherent answers for prelim explanation questions
and you are stressed up about it when you are blasting songs whilst staring at your 16 inch screen
but seem carefree since you have the time to type all this.

sunday

every sunday seems like a sunday wasted
esp with the waking-up late routine
and then off for a 2h lunch
to reach home tired
attempting to stud for an hour max
and dying peacfully on my bed till 7pm
whereby dinner's ready
and its in front of this 16 inch screen ( i cant believed i measured them!)
and the 29 inch one later.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
at least i read some newspaper.
to find that i dont remember much afterwards, except there's a company called FreePort, akafuku and Mikasa food.
if you nv heard of the last two u haven been reading the newspaper! (the september editions one anyway)

now, if you have been reading and looking up till now, you owuld know how diligent i'm in reading my papers =)
alright 29" here i come!

last day

Final day of sch today.
the feeling is just weird. unlike sec sch.
mixture of relief, happiness and a tinge of sadness.

Relieved that we have finaly graduated.
happy that we have survived HALF of JC life.
sad that there's not much sweet memories to keep
well at elast there were friendships forged.
horizon expanded
limits tested

there's seriously a whole spectrum of people out there
whose perceptions may vary a whole universe away from yours (aka alien and weird by your own standards)
but that's that.
its the environment they grew up in.
values they were inculcated
and subsequent choices they made.

there were many words i said that were regretful
childish actions.
but at least I learn the impact they have on people
and on myself.
learn to filter out information that wont meant for you.
just accept the criticisms and bias words.
change for the better if they are true
be nonchalent if they are not.

I learn also that if you really wanna have a strong class spirit..
you have to reach out to those who are more individualised.
you have to take the extra step to achieve what you seek.
and not depend on the class leaders
for even they have their limits and problems to deal with.
always strive to be more
more than what you are.
but also the other leaders must have similar motivation
and not just be concerned only when within their job scope.

haiz what can i say...
we all did wrong in our ways
at least let's not repeat it again...

now for squash.
should have push the other members harder and not just let them be.
we could really achieve more than what we did.
just had to be more firm with them
Heck the idea that its a sports cca and not a uniform group.
to achieve our goal we have to believe and be disciplined
so when the latter's lacking, it has to be enforced.
advices given are only for consideration and not to be followed entirely.
nvrmind, would put hope into this batch of juniors.
seriously hope they would start training hard now and not play a fool!

at least learn another thing.
when discipline is not enforced strictly (as in UG)
and people are just not motivated themselves.
more proactive actions need to be taken
direct and subtle ones.
shall read up more on that after A's.

anyway, we hav a half successful class outing which become 36% successful later.
Point learnt:
be very detailed in your instructions. tell people to make their whole day free! and it would help if leaders are showing an example and not running off halfway...
or be influenced by their peers.
sometimes i think were the wrong people chosen in year one?
and should we have gone ahead with the idea to change,
when we felt it should be done.
veracity is important.
i guess its too late for me to show this aspect now? hahaa

but also like ms ewe said..people should just voice their opinion when asked
and not complain and disagree when everything is settled afterwards and gonna be carried out.
it only complicates matter.
if u wanna appear peaceful,
then do it not say it.
KEEP YOUR PEACE.

btw, i thought it was common knowledge that sakae buffet starts at 3pm?
and i did rememebr someone saying that it will start at 3 when we agree on it but i guessed everyone just din listen properly? WELL.
think i would get lots of emotions boiling here.
but i need to mention it.
ms ewe asked what we wanted to say to the class.
the only good point i can think of is: we are generally peaceful and don't create much trouble.

anyways, think i know why the topic was brought up to be discussed again but shall not mention why. and no. its not only sis but somethingelse too. haha. like i said, was the right choice made? lol it din seem like a big issue at that time anyways.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
on a good note,
bballed at night today.
though i got scratched again
but it was quite fun. esp when they are taller and.... haha! (die, ego at work here!!!)
esp after the buffet.
i'm not gonna force myself to gorge at sakae next time to make ti mroe worthwhile.
and zhou yang shall not sit inside
lest he spam on the comp again!

runnnnnn

back from run with mao!
from amk st52 to yio chu kang road then to ave 3 i think then back to st 52. lol
wanted to do a loop into jalan kayu de but then running out of energy le so we just skipped it.
estimated distance >9.4km.
but our timing is quite horrendous. measley 57mins.
nvrminds. we would train harder after A's
think i'm gonna be more tired during post A's then pre A's la.

went to the fitness corner for a while. and realised i injured my right shoulder.
but it shld be minor la.
SHLD get better after a few days. haha
next time it would be to bishan park. wahaha
and i realised we have yet to do the yishun/sembawang route!
(and we had wanted to complete that route since last year -_-")

now i'm just conked out would be great to just lie down and stone. but not that tired till i wanna sleep.
must be the adrenaline.
and good old mao kun is back to mugging physics. haha

words travel fast. perceptions mutates even faster

sometimes is scary what others can say
or choose to see
and then interprete
here's a problem of imperfect information.

and things get worse
when imperfect info is put together with what seems to be.
a perception is formed.
and spread
with 'evidences' as back-up it would seem beyond doubt

alas, would have to take comfort with it.
not like it din happen before.
just that this time it's beneath the radar.
an undercurrent.

am supposed to be doing gp compre now!
but i'm feeling conked out.

ate too much yester-night.
gonna run later hopefully?
and i'm not going to try milk-prata.

good to see the juniors still together.
hopefully they would put up an even stronger fight next year
and top 4 wld be ours.

TBC later.........

gibberish

i'm typing gibberish
for the uber-rich
to fill me with crisp notes
fresh from the oven
or adding zeroes to those in my bank account.

do we seek to perform
for ourselves or others?
to show feats
other thought impossible
is it to impress
or bring laughter
a celebration of the human abilities.

do we over-think about the need for existence
or is it just an excuse to convince that we are better than animals
but deep inside its just our pride that needs the confirmation.

we seek to break boundaries
is that driven by boredom
or to search for a meaning to life?

now, that i've gotten these out.
its time to really focus on A's.
survival's a primal instinct after all right
and this fight with A's is a fight we've gotta win.
for it's a to the death thing...
at least in s'porean context (most of us anyway)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
let neither laziness nor distractions be my stumbling block
there's a point to prove
goals to be achieved
dreams to realise.
show the world what you're capable of.
let nothing impede it
let it shine through
or it may never be able to again.