here it comes again

here it comes again...

a wave of sadness....
but i knew it was coming...
felt its presence...
as it came from the horizon...
i tried to brave it...
but its too overwhelming....
dont ask me why...
cos i dont know why...
i knew it was coming yet run i did not...
friends told me to avoid it...
but i decided to brave it...
thinking i would be able to survive it...
but alas its not...
it hurts...
but its so different from the past...
its the hollow kind...
the kind that leaves u empty...not drowning...
the kind that makes u wanna die but cant die...
why did u have to do that....
why din i avoid it...

no its not your fault...
can never bring myself to blame you...
and its not your fault...
i forgot to ask why...
but i guess it dont matter to you anymore...
its a chapter closed and burnt away...
never to bother you again...

all that stuff...
wonder if its true...
or just to get things over and done with quickly...

wish i could just die while saving a kid tmr man...
more fruitful way to die...
dont know how to face this...

i just wanna run and never stop...
bball till the end of the days...
hit balls against the wall all day...
and just lay beneath the starry sky...
as i breathe my last breath and remember you the last time...

End.
this is sure a long one....shall edit it if i feel more....
should make it into a song or sth...

'a normal life is all i want.'